![]() ![]() These are not even capable of keeping a lone ant alive for more than a few minutes. The brain of an ant is only a rudimentary cluster of neurons. Reductionist principles in science are very important, but it turns out that ‘1 + 1’ usually equals a lot more than ‘2’. While there may be a kind of mechanistic, billiard ball logic governing the behaviour of atoms, the origins of life itself remain a mystery. Nor can we calculate how things work from the ground up. In many other respects as well, our planet is exquisitely attuned to the requirements of life. This sometimes called the Goldilocks principle – not too hot, not too cold but just right. Instead it means they need to work together to fight the conflict, rather than working with the conflict to fight each other.When we look at life on Earth, scientists can’t explain why everything works as well as it does. That does not mean that they are doomed to fail. ![]() No one is perfect when it comes to marriage and every couple faces hard times. Barring physical limitations, when a couple has not had sex for a long time it is usually an indicator that emotional intimacy is severely damaged and the partners have no pleasure in each other. Sex expresses and reinforces emotional connection. Both strengthen feelings of closeness, and so when they are missing, couples can feel distant and disengaged from one another. Partners who are unwilling to discuss their feelings, lack interest in one another’s emotional life, and fail to show reciprocal empathy run the risk of losing emotional intimacy, which can significantly harm the relationship.īoth verbal and physical affection are an important aspect of a healthy relationship. Successful marriages include emotional engagement between both spouses. This can lead to a loss of respect, increasing distance, and each spouse withdrawing from one another. Instead they sit and fester, turning something that may have been small into a huge monster you can’t forget. Unfortunately, ignoring differences does not make them go away. Couples who do not find a way to resolve differences without hurting the relationship end up avoiding conflict which can lead to differences being ignored. Instead, lack of effective conflict resolution is what really hurts the relationship. Having conflict in a marriage is not a death sentence. The important thing is for every individual to focus on doing what they can to be a partner who encourages a healthy relationship, and work to avoid the detrimental indicators of divorce. Thereafter, the chances of divorce go up again.”ĭoes this mean that if you are married at 18, or still unmarried at 38 there’s no hope for you? Definitely not. Wolfinger explains, “the odds of divorce decline as you age from your teenage years through your late twenties and early thirties. You have to get it just right.Īge at marriage has a U-shaped relationship to divorce risk. Getting married too young is risky, but so is getting married too late. Both studies indicated that there’s a delicate balance for marrying at the right time. Then, to assure he got it right, he did it again. ![]() Wolfinger studied the best time to get married in order to lower your risk of divorce. The Goldilocks Theory of Marriage and Divorce While it is true that people change and every couple will hit hard times throughout their relationship, science can give us a helpful hand to know our prime age for successful marriage. Research suggests that there is a ripe time for marrying, just as there is time when my produce is best for picking (I should probably look at the latter before shopping again). Sometimes I get duds, but other times I have some really delicious fruits and vegs. All I can do is pick the best I can, and wait until I get home to see how well I did. I try to look like I’m a knowledgeable adult by knocking on the watermelons, squeezing the tomatoes, smelling the oranges. I never know what I’m doing when I pick produce at the grocery store. ![]()
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